See last post. Repeat. Crapped out on 205# deadlift making this officially NOT better than anything I have ever done before. Ruminated a bit. It's weird, because I have spent quite a bit of the last few months wanting to try for best single... to see what was really possible (vs theorhitcally RPE Xreps blah blah blah) and looking forward to test week. And now that it's here I hatee that it guarantees failure. That's the whole point, after all. And I am not that good at dealing, it turns out. I am not entirely sure if I'd feel the same if I squeezed out more, or it's just hitting a limit that's a bummer. ie:
Now I have a new reason to want to hit good numbers on the real testing day tomorrow. I want a good.... everything. Something worth celebrating. And then to see how I feel. Just so I know which of the 2 above it is . Oh, who am I kidding? I just want better numbers. Period. It's not a social experiment. It's not noble. Just gimme a fucking material PR already!!!
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In July I had my first Powerlifting meet: and had a 90Kg Deadlift, which was by far a personal best. 198#, plus a bit. And since then, I've been sticking with the programming, and have not been up to even 185# (my previous gym PR) until just a few weeks ago. It felt good to hit that 185#, but it was not exactly *new*. Today I pulled 200#. And I am thrilled about it. Its only marginally more than my previous best, and that took 5 months to gain. And I am not known for my patience. There is just something magic about this sport. I have my whole life to create progress. Bees make only 45 grams (based on my calculations and some wiki-work) in their life. A lifes work, and it's over in a slice of bread. But they make alot of other things too, while they make that honey. Honey is just the most apparent evidence: The in-your-face proof. 1.6# is my 45bee-grams. And I'll take every sweet drop. I'm no social scientist. So if you want to read about Maslow's hierarchy of needs try Wikipedia. But there was an interesting reference to it in a book I am reading for work. I'll spare the back reference (but the book is called "Beyond Engagement" - Brady G. Wilson, if you are interested...)... but it quotes someone who ran the Boston Marathon as saying;
"After I ran the Boston Marathon, I had no motivation whatsoever. My diet and my training schedule went to pot. I need to set another goal for myself before I fall apart." Oh, Snap. ....And I do kinda remember that feeling after the London meet in July. I have continued training, but I know for sure that it's a slightly different feeling than training towards prep for a meet. Which is OK. I think actually that may be one of the things that makes Powerlifting the sport for me. There is ALWAYS a goal. Because it's not a specific event at which you measure your progress.... well, of course it IS, if you go to a meet, but also... it's not. Every few months you cycle through the program and BOOM! PR baby! I found my magic. My girlfriends is yoga. I can imagine that it might be much the same. My goal tomorrow: Just one squat at a time. Just one more. My goal for January - test and new PRs for all 3 (Squat, Benchpress and Deadlift). And then we'll set them again, AND schedule a meet! I know it's called a "Meet" because people... well, they MEET. But I am going to think of it as just the place you meet your goals. Seems I have had a number of updates in the last 2 weeks. Nothing specific is going on; just really enjoying myself, happy, fulfilled. Some moments of 'blech' occasionally interrupt, but I feel as though this is one of the ways I count my blessings. I talk about them here, and acknowledge it that way. It also reinforces my contentment.
It was a good day at the gym today. We gradually are working back to meet-level weights with the new form (high-bar squat and conventional deadlift). I miss low-bar and sumo. But I am gradually improving with these movements, and I know it will make these lifts stronger no matter what style I choose. And the high-bar does seem like less stress on the lower back (which is weird, because I don't think it's supposed to be. But it could just be because it's so much lighter, still). 140# squat and 155# DL today. 15# and 45# to add, respectively, to hit my July OPA-meet PR. There was still gas in the tank, so I might be closer than I think! It would be good to be there by the end of the year. Then in January I can start to prep for a spring meet. I won't do a meet until I can add 40# to my meet total. Road to a 500# total....... Long and winding. But sunny and clear! That was last night. Black = what was going on in my head. Red = why this is so different than me 2 years ago....
And I did go to the grocery store, and I did buy fruit. I am getting the hang of this! I was talking to the Mavens last week about long term goals with powerlifting. And I told them what I am about to tell you. I want to qualify for nationals in 2021. It's a long way away, I know. But I will be in the next age group up, and I figure I can improve at least for 2 more years... (I don't really improve in any great leaps, but I think it's reasonable to make some small gains for at least that long). and then even maintaining, for the year I would be Master Level II, the standards should be do-able.
I think it would be an amazing experience, and if I can't do it by then, well, it's unlikely I'd ever be able to do it. So I am setting the bar (pun intended) for a meet around my 50th birthday with PR #s. Now I just have to do the work, which I enjoy anyway! It took a lot longer than I expected. I joined the gym nearly 2 years ago...and still have a way to go to "fit". I have come a long way, though, and looking at the transformation, it still seems like a big accomplishment. There has never been anything fast or easy about it... Just steady, incremental progress.
When I think about how many choices I had to make the last two years that added up to this.... The good and the bad.... It's a wonder I made it. I couldn't of done it without encouragement of an amazing PT who helped me the movements, manage the progress, and probably most importantly… Have fun (or something close to it ) while doing it. The mavens encouraged me too. I'm lucky to have such good girlfriends. And Garth has been amazing. He's been a cheerleader, but has also helped managing food, encouraging me to prioritize the gym... And listened to me go on and on about powerlifting. But the truth is and I say this without an ounce of either shame or pride.... Mostly this was ME. Of course of course I couldn't have done it without the support mentioned above ...for sure. But I did the work. I made those choices. Ok; so I take it back. I AM PROUD. Blessed and proud. I was in my first powerlifting meet yesterday. I hesitate to call it a competition; I pulled less weight than anyone. Well, except the guy that bombed out on his three benchpress attempts and didn't get to finish.
And I finally get the concept of only competing against yourself. I never understood it when golfers talked about it. And to be fair, I'm pretty sure a number of them (golfers and powerlifters) care a lot more about competing with the other participants than it being only about beating your best. But, I'm really not worried about the low weight, or my missed third attempt on bench. In fact, I'm really proud I tried for the 115# BP. I've never been able to do it in the gym before with the pause, & I was feeling really good. And maybe I could have gotten it if I was just a bit slower. But I actually tried something that had a goodly chance of failure ..... In front of a bunch of people. Because nobody wanted me to miss. It wasn't a competition at that moment; not against each other anyway. Just me and the bar. And everyone got it. And now I have numbers. A very clear place from which to improve. To measure progress. I was impressed by a lot of people yesterday. But I don't remember their numbers. Just their resolve. Me. The bar. It's so simple that it's hard to understand how I didn't get it before. But I do now. And that's progress too.... |
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